Bouřková nuda – aneb když počasí poroučí mozku i nohám
Kdysi jsem se smál lidem, kteří si stěžovali, že je „ovlivňuje počasí“. Teď vím, že počasí neovlivňuje jen náladu – ale celý den, rytmus těla i myšlení. Když se blíží bouřka, cítím to dřív než předpověď v televizi. A přiznávám: nejsem to ten den úplně já.
Počasí, co vleze pod kůži
Je jedno, co říká biopředpověď – když tlak padá, padám i já. Klesá chuť do práce, mizí chuť do života. Ráno se sice donutím vstát, ale nejdřív se hodinu motám po bytě jak opilý losos. Snídaně? Jasně, že si ji dám. Jen si za chvíli nepamatuju, co to bylo. Ovesná kaše? Chleba se sýrem? Banán? Kdo ví.
Tyhle dny mají zvláštní pachuť. Jako by někdo ztlumil barvy světa i ostrost mozku. Myšlenky se táhnou jak smog nad městem a motivace má dovolenou.
Autopilotem do výtahu
Obvykle vyběhnu čtyři patra do redakce pěšky. Aspoň trochu pohybu. Ale v bouřkový den jen stisknu tlačítko výtahu a nechám se vyvézt jako balík. Mozek? Ten zůstává na přízemí.
Konverzace s kolegy připomíná rozhovor dvou robotů, co se po restartu neumějí přihlásit. Věty nedávají smysl. Slova si pletu. A hlavně – vůbec mě to netrápí. Protože i pocit viny z lenosti je ztlumený. Jako by ho taky bolel tlak.
Zírám. Ticho. Monitor přede mnou. Prsty na klávesnici, ale žádné písmeno se netiskne. Přesně takhle nějak si představuju meditační ústup do vnitřního prostoru. Jen bez vůně kadidla a tibetské hudby.
Občas se rozsvítí nápad, ale dřív než stihnu zareagovat, odpluje. Možná to znáte taky – den, kdy se vám nic nechce. Ale to „nic“ je tak všudypřítomné, že se ho nedá chytit. A ani netušíte, jestli jste si před hodinou udělali kafe nebo jen na něj pomysleli.
Smíření s počasím a se sebou
Dřív jsem měl pocit, že musím být pořád výkonný, pořád aktivní. Ale bouřkové dny mě naučily něco důležitého: někdy je v pořádku být mimo provoz. Není to lenost, není to slabost. Je to jen tělo, které dává najevo, že taky potřebuje zpomalit.
Už se tomu nebráním. Když přijde „bouřková nuda“, nezlobím se na ni. Udělám si čaj. Zůstanu déle sedět. Nechám myšlenky plynout, i když většina z nich nikam nedopluje. Protože i tohle je život.
***
A pak najednou – světlo
Nejhezčí na těchto dnech je, že vždycky přejdou. Tlak se zvedne. Mozek naskočí. A najednou se rozsvítí světlo nejen venku, ale i uvnitř. Energie se vrací a já zase klušu do schodů. Najednou si pamatuju, co jsem snídal. A dokonce mě to i těší.
A tak si říkám – jestli tohle není dokonalá ukázka toho, že počasí není jen za oknem. Je i v nás.
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